Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (Watching Every Gundam)

"They really named their company Gund-ARM then only built legs." - Hayley

"What's your favourite mobile suit genital? Mine's the GUNDvolva." - Hayley

 Major entries in Gundam should always be 50 episodes. It's a character driven speculative fiction franchise. Ideas need to be explored in depth, characters given breathing room to feel more like fully realised people and the weight of real time spent watching the show makes audiences more attached to everything going on. 50 episodes provides opportunities for the occasional bout of strange creativity (both of the boy band hoverbikes kind and the "Chibodee Crocket is scared of clowns because one pulled a gun on him as a child"). I could argue that 39 would be sufficient for The Witch From Mercury as a parallel to Revolutionary Girl Utena, but one should never start low when bargaining. Besides, Utena is a three act character drama. The Witch From Mercury is as much about class struggle and a critique of charter schools as it is angst-riddled students organising duels. Alas, Bandai Namco is a media dragon sitting on a hoard of immense cultural riches with absolutely no idea how to manage the wealth at all. The Witch From Mercury began development as a 40th Anniversary project, delayed due to work on both Gundam Hathaway and SEED Freedom and treated as this awkward annoyance to punt out the door as soon as possible in favour of those two seemingly safe bet movies. Somehow, the latest television entry of a cultural icon so large it has a statue in Odaiba and annual fireworks shows became an underdog passion project.

DOAN'S ISLAND: THE MOVIE (Watching Every Gundam)

 

 "These aren't gay enough!" - Hayley on Amuro's shorts.

 "Glad Amuro's finally coming out of the closet." - Hayley on the Gundam's redebut.

"It's so cool how every fight with the Gundam is just a horror movie now."- Hayley, Mobile Suit Gundam Episode 33, "Farewell in Side Six".

This may be the only time in media history I'm okay with a remake.

Mobile Suit Gundam Narrative (Watching Every Gundam)

 

"We're flashing back to a single scene so many times I swear the Kira/Athrun Double K.O. is going to show up any second now." - Hayley

I've been thinking about Reconguista in G again. ∀ Gundam was about boiling Gundam as a franchise down to certain ideas (defining and reclaiming our humanity, how this requires empathy, being at least a little gay) while ditching the usual signifiers. G-reco was the opposite: a show comprised entirely of Gundamist signifiers with no meaning attached. If you fixate on the form of Gundam but not the meaning then what you shall wind up with is shallow nonsense. The founding father of the franchise leaving one last warning to all who continue to follow him.

Naturally, the lesson Bandai Namco learned from that was to make Gundam Unicorn 2. 

Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans (Watching Every Gundam)

 

"LESBIAN!" - Hayley, excitedly pointing at Kudelia who's pondering whether a single kiss from someone means you should marry them.

Hayley: "I could punt ED2's baby Mika."
Me:  "He'd double tap you before he hits the ground."
Hayley: "He'd still make a funny squeak when he hits that ground though." 

"I can't believe Takaki grew up to become a man." - Hayley, episode 50. 

 It's the one your gym junkie friend who always works out in a Vegeta tank top has seen and likes.

Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt (Watching Every Gundam)

 

"I can't believe I'm tearing up over a guy who used the "do you like jazz?" pickup line from The Bee Movie." - Hayley

 Originally released as two sets of 4 episodes viewable only by internet Pay Per View, these were later compiled into two movies: December Sky and Bandit Flower. Since I was using digital backups, the folder sorted them into alphabetical order and thus we watched them the wrong way around. I actually think that improved the experience for reasons I'll get into later.

Reconguista in G (Watching Every Gundam)

Chuchumy!

Mobile Suit Gundam AGE (Watching Every Gundam)

 

"So the unique aspect to this world is there's... gnomes?" - Hayley on Dique Gunhale

"That's clearly more of a size queen." - Hayley on the Diva

"How did they make a half naked otter in a hammock so unsexy?" - Hayley on Lt. Woolf

"So they're saying the Diva was really a drag queen. Yes I know this one's cheap heat but the show doesn't deserve better." - Hayley on transforming a battleship exactly once.

"They really gave the Diva to a Captain Anus huh." - Hayley saying what's on all our minds.

"I miss Graham Aker." - Hayley on people shrugging off extreme acceleration.

The year is 2011. Gundam 00 as a creative project has completely wrapped up. Making a sequel to Awakening of the Trailblazer would either undermine everything it said or be a psychedelic space opera in the vein of Iain M. Banks' Culture novels, making it a dead end for selling plastic model kits of cool robots. The Universal Century is currently milking dead-eyed nostalgia with Gundam Unicorn's individual direct to video episode releases. Stumped for ideas on how to keep the plastic factories churning, Bandai Namco turn to their new best friends at Level 5 to make the next inevitable Gundam reboot. After all they've churned out family friendly hits non-stop from Inazuma 11 to Professor Layton and most recently started gunning for Nintendo's money with Yo-Kai Watch. This is as safe a bet as you can make!

The pitch is strong too. Let's build a story so grand it spans multiple generations. Kids can grow along with the characters and talk about the more mature themes with their parents who are watching too! We'll draw parallels to the earliest Gundam entries in order to sell kits both old and new and bring Gundam back to a household name! It's the exact sort of concept that makes guys in suits who only understand finance and not the economics, logistics and reasons to fund Art in the first place.

See, we already have a model for multi-generational storytelling: you plan your damn sequel(s) in advance. Gundam AGE did not.