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*Pours herself a second, different gin* - Hayley upon witnessing Athrun Zala in a Z'gok
"I think I can press Assault charges against this movie." - Friend of the show Penguinator
If you made me watch this garbage 100 times I could probably give you 100 different essays on why I hate it.
The Cosmic Era doesn't have to suck.
"I can't believe they've dropped the ball this quickly." - Hayley on episode 2.
"Well at least Arthur's a fan of Murrue's huge naturals... and Talia's large coordinators." - Hayley on the best character.
"You could replace most of Athrun's lines with the Tim Allen grunt." - Hayley
"Glad the Heavyarms stock footage is getting work again."- Hayley on the DESTROY.
"Gundam SEED really loves killing women huh." - Hayley on ED3.
"I'm too gay to watch any more of this tonight." - Hayley after two or three episodes per session.
A sovereign nation is under fire from a global power who has decided its space launch infrastructure is easier to pilfer than those currently held by an actual military rival. The evacuation of civilians has gone roughly, with families still desperately running by foot from active combat zones. A 15 year old is separated from his family when he ducks down a ravine to grab his sister's dropped mobile phone. By sheer coincidence, stray fire from ZGMF-X10A Freedom grazes the area, taking the lad's family and leaving him relatively unscathed. The apotheosis of Kira Yamato is a myth. He's a teenager with too much firepower. For all his vaunted perfect, ethical aimbot targeting he's as capable of unforeseen collateral damage and ruining lives as any other soldier.
Mobile Suit Gundam ended with a hopeful note that human empathy can grow and expand in a way that will bend society towards something kinder than thought possible. Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam mercilessly tore the idea apart with example after example of empathy exploited for military conquest, state violence and personal isolation and greed. With its first five minutes, Gundam SEED Destiny maintains this approach by taking a sledgehammer to the heroics of its predecessor's third act.
Unfortunately this introduction is followed up with, well, Gundam SEED Destiny.
"Wow! It's the New Coke!" - Hayley
"This is a white woman's chihuahua" - Hayley on The Pink Haro
"The only emotion Kira's crying can convey is how bad last night's burrito is treating him." - Hayley on that one scene.
"These 90 seconds have told me more about this cast and made me want to learn more about them than 16 episodes of Gundam SEED have." - Hayley after I showed her the opening to Overman King Gainer
"Oh so the big innovation this time is the black tri-stars are going to be furries?" - Hayley on the BuCUE.
"A single leaf falling in the wind is a better realised and more immersive visual than anything we're seeing in Gundam SEED." - Hayley as she once again plays Unicorn Overlord to stop me putting another Gundam SEED disc on.
"Why aren't we watching this?" - Hayley on the trailer for Madlax included on the fifth disc.
"Coordinators and Naturals are incompatible societies because the former filter their freshly ground coffee beans while the latter drink instant." - Hayley cutting to the core of what this show's about.
"These two are like if Beecha and Mondo had no charisma and were also straight." - Hayley on Yzak and Dearka.
"I hate everything this show represents." - Hayley on 15 year olds who love to play the piano.
"Is Murrue up to the true burden of command: remembering the differences between Sledgehammer, Wombat, Igestellung and Helldart missiles?" - Hayley on Natarle's departure.
Hayley: This show's tech is a supermarket shelf. Jam jam jam jam jam.
Me: No, ZAFT just cancelled the jam. The show's left us the white bread.
Hayley works a stressful, tiring job and has been overbooked all year. We started watching every Gundam in January with the idea it'd be something we jump on in between other activities. Instead, immersing ourselves in a succession of worlds contemplating ourselves, our society and the path to a better world has been an ideal activity for us. I'm starting this way to highlight that it was not ZZ Gundam's sitcom hijinks, Stardust Memory's fascist apologia, Victory's clumsy discussions of womanhood or Wing's aimless rambling that drove her insane, but the jump from Ɐ to SEED which finally reminded her she has other hobbies and interests which she'd like to pursue for as long as it takes for me to stop waving my cheap clearance sale boxset of SEED at her threateningly.
"The Moonrace appointed Homer Simpson to design these." - Hayley on the MRC-U11D WaD.
"Sochie thinks she's Bright Noa but she's Beecha." - Hayley on adjustments to Gallop command structure.
"Look sorry, I'm trying to make more quips but every time I think of one it turns out the show was already planning to make that very same joke." - Hayley on good writing.
Four Gundam continuities, two runs of University and an entire gender ago I was a film theory student. In my first year there was a lecture on the death of genre which outlined the three most common reasons a genre fades from popularity:
It is 1999, two years since Gundam X brought Gundam to its saturation peak. It's the 20th anniversary of the original show. Out of ideas for how to milk this franchise, original director Yoshiyuki Tomino is brought in to make lightning strike the same place twice. Instead, he sets out to kill the Gundam in our minds. Given the tone of this show it would be easy to assume that's via method 3 but the beauty of ∀ Gundam is that it is also method 2. This is not only the best Gundam show ever made, but one of the best anime to boot. This show is so damn great that my struggle is going to be how I can convey this without just repeating "wow good show" for 2000 words. Let's try breaking things down.
"IT'S JUST FUCKING MANHATTAN!." - Friend of the show Milly
This was financed and executive produced by Sunrise as part of Gundam's 20th Anniversary, so it's part of the project.
I'm grading on the "cheap Canadian Sci-fi Channel production" curve here but it's actually pretty good!
Hayley: Garrod is a boy, not a man. A boy declares his love for a girl after knowing her for two days, one of which she was entirely unconscious for. A man would wait and get to know her better.
Me: How's that different from lesbians?
Hayley: If Garrod were a girl she'd have already married Tiffa.
"Garrod's turning down a MILF? No wonder this got axed!" - Hayley on good boys
"All I understood from that technobabble is this young man's having period pains." - Hayley on cyber newtype Caris Nautilus
"Fucking BUTTERBEAN?!?" - Hayley on the NRX-010 Gable, and presumably the resolution to WWF's Brawl for All at Wrestlemania 15 as well.
It's the show which killed Gundam.
